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Rusrella

by Kemal Shahin 60 views

“Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, in the most easterly wing of Europe a girl lived together with her father, stepmother and two stepsisters. All the other women of the family were very jealous of the girl who they named Rusrella
This is the story of the young maiden from the deep forest of Ukraine who wants to enter the Campovision Song Contest 2004? But can she do it alone? Will her evil sisters triump and can her hairy fairy Godmother Deenella do anything to help? From the Greenroom to this magical wonderland… By Jarmo Siim and Kemal Shahin


�in a land far, far away, in the most easterly wing of Europe a girl lived together with her father, stepmother and two stepsisters. All the other women of the family were very jealous of the girl who they named Rusrella, after a mayonnaise they found in the local supermarket because of her sweet looks.

One day it was announced that a singing contest was to be held in a nearby castle, the Campavision Song Contest 2004, though in a foreign land. Rusrella�s sisters also decided to participate like the last years.

They were called Vava International (formely Ramon Cohen) and Sandra �Handee� Pain (they had different fathers one was an Israeli queen of darkness the other a vavcious busty babe and local stripper!). Rusrella had always been scared of them because she was seen as the �untalented one� of the kingdom. In some circles she was known as �the-wild-one-who-likes-to-dance�. She would spend days in the forest alone, dancing around wild fires and chanting to herself as she called upon the voodoo spirits.

Vava International and Handee called out for the best arrangers, composers and writers in the kingdom to help them out with their performance. �We want disco balls, whipping of skirts, beads and sequins, we want it all� they told their manager! Vava International chose a Latin style song. She believed the best way to win was to really go with the whole �man becomes woman� phenomena that swept Europe in 1998 and again in 2002. So after some counselling and a quick op, not forgetting lipo suction, breast implants and lip enhancement she went full out and became a woman. Ramon Choen was now Vava International! A real diva! As for Sandra, who now wanted to be called �Handee�, a wannabe diva, well, she went the easy way and decided to remind people a simple, yet a sad fact � they only have one life. She thought disco was the way forward, and ended her career in nude modelling, stripping and running a local candyfloss stand to pursue her new found fame after singing the karaoke bars for so long and dreaming of stardom!

Naturally, Rusrella was horrified by her stepsisters; she wanted to enter a song too. But as hard as she tried nobody dared to help the poor young girl named after a mayonnaise. So she struggled night after day and day after night to finish her song even though she had no experience in arranging music. �Life is tough�, she thought. Sadly she was not the best lyricist and didn�t know many words in the wonderful language of English, but she was a smart girl and found a way out of it � she remembered the words her parents and friends had used in English after a few too many goblets of drink! She started with the phrase of �my head spins round and round and round� (this was the most common expression they had used, which is why Rusrella remembered it) and added this to the sound the local drunks made: �day-na-da-na-da�. However she did not want to look like a cheat, a girl who could not speak English and a girl with no talent, so she made up some creations of her own. She remembered back to the sound of the snakes in the deep forests of a nearby wasteland, as it slid through the thick earth beneath the poison mushrooms and purple vines – �shi-di-ri-di-duy, shi-di-ri-di-da-na�, hissing as it went. Using the sounds of the forest the young maiden created a tune, her very own and the native tittle was �Tatsiki �what a lovely dip� dances�.

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