Eurovision leaves the planet.

by Benny Royston 73 views

The reason for Terry Wogan's absense from the commentary booth this year may be about to be revealed. It is now believed that he will announce the winner of the 2009 Eurovision Song Contest… from the International Space Centre. During yesterday's press conference, the Eurovision Song Contest musical producer Yuri Aksyuta told the press in the hall that: “We will not disclose all secrets. But TV viewers in Europe will see a magnificent show. I can only say that we will speak to the space station,”.

Terry Wogan, who was last seen in nuclear meltdown mode on the BBC when he launched a verbal rocket attack at the competition organisers, has made a sudden disappearance from the UK commentary booth this year. During yesterday's press conference it was announced that the Eurovision Song Contest would link with the International Space Station during Saturday's final.

It is now believed that Terry Wogan was smuggled to the USA early last week after speaking out at the Eurovision Television convention in Lucerne and was aboard the latest Space Shuttle flight, which a Greek eurovision site (with experience in this kind of coverage)believed stopped off at the Space Centre on the way to the Hubble Telescope.

Wogan has been hiding in space to avoid giving interviews about the Eurovision Song Contest throughout the week after his comments given to the Eurovision Summit in Lucerne. On Saturday, Dima Bilan will blast off from the Olympikskii Arena after performing 'Believe' as the special opening act. He will join Terry to announce the ESC winner at the end of the show after a high speed flight to beyond the ozone layer.

In the meantime, a special cartoonis being produced in Norway to capture the essense ofthis amazing experience. Carola has contacted the orbitting hotel and asked to join them to performa duet withdima and the United Kingdom's Jade has sent two copies of OK magazine for them to read.

It is believed that producers came up with the idea whilst listening to an inspirational song called 'what if we…' Svetlana Loboda has offered to help expand the Space Centre to make their stay more comfortable. The Hell machine will be fixed onto the multi-national space formation. She has also promised to be on hand for the landing party if and when it returns to Earth. She believes that she is the ideal project manager to avoid any potential landing crisis.

Sakis Rouvas has also offered to donate his stage materials in the hope that it will provide a more environmentally friendly travel plan. He has offered theprops after May 16th to make sure that "this is our night". This was preferred over a Danish transport suggestion that was deemed to old to perform after the mechanics were released in 2000 and the wings were thought to lack strength.

Belgium representative Patrick Ouchene has spoken out strongly against the idea, claiming 'it has been done before'. This was in stark contrast to the Dutch camp who think that the idea will shine.

It is currently unknown whether either Wogan or Bilan will be allowed to return to planet earth after the show. According to reliable sources within the Eurovision Song Contest organisation, it strongly depends on the winning entry.

Upon hearing about these unusal occurances, Yohanna from Iceland contacted to ask 'is it true'?

We felt obliged to inform her and our readers that thisarticle is in factentirely fictitious and was simply felt to be so amusing and well writtenremain unpublished.

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